seasonal friendships and the everlasting ones...

It is funny how friendships come and go. They are a lot like the 4 seasons in Ontario. Some last for one season, some last for a few, some last for all 4 and some just last year after year. There are reasons people come into your life, whether it be positive or negative- there are also times when you really don't have a clue why you befriended certain people and wonder why/how you would have wasted time and energy on them. For the most part, in order for me to call someone my friend, it has to be a two-way street... both of us giving equal time and energy into the relationship. If I am giving more, making more of an effort, then the friendship is no longer worth it. A friend, in my opinion, is there for you during difficult times.... she should call you, email you - what ever it may be, she keeps in touch. A friend living close by should visit and not always expect to be visited. That same friend should offer her help when you have a newborn baby, when knowing full well that you're all alone, with no family around. A true friend does not suddenly stop calling when *said* newborn arrives. Friends are not self-centred, selfish, rude, ignorant. Friends do not cut you off when you're talking, monopolize the conversation or try to "one up you" regardless what you're talking about. Friends don't make excuses and they don't rush you. A true friend is compassionate, genuine, caring, supportive and giving.

I felt the need to write this post to put it out there in writing. Perhaps if you're reading this and you're my friend, then you'll know what I expect out of you (but you already know that because you're a true friend). If you're not my friend and you're reading this, then you'll know why our friendship failed. Failed friendships were meant to fail from the beginning. I strongly believe you know, at some point in the friendship, that it's going to fail, but you keep the faith and wait... why, who knows? You continue on the "one-way street" and you wonder why you let yourself get disappointed time after time. Despite the disappointment, I must say every failed friendship has made me into a better person.

Seasonal friendships are superficial and leave a negative mark on your life, but they make you into a better person. They make you realize that you will never make the same mistakes with new friendships. I don't necessarily think it's bad to have seasonal friends because I believe they were part of your life at that time for a reason.

An everlasting friend has been there for a long time even when there may have been a gap in your friendship here and there. You can pick up where you left off and you can chat non stop without taking a breath. You think about that friend often and wish nothing but the best for her. You want to spend time with her and you make every effort to do so even if you're separated by distance. They're special to you, they feel like family and you have a bond. Your friendship is meaningful and definitely not superficial. You have so much in common that it's actually scary. These friendships usually begin from childhood, but sometimes they're formed later in life too... in university, at work... regardless, you usually know they're going to be everlasting from the onset. The one special thing, about everlasting friendships, is that you only have a few of them. Seasonal friends seem to come into your life by the truck load- that, in itself, should be a sign.

I am grateful for my everlasting friendships. I may only have a few, but they are meaningful and special. I couldn't possibly find that with a truck load of friends.








This is my everlasting friend and her cutie-pie.