Pure joy

It's really hard to believe what we went through with Paisley. I won't re-hash because there's no need- and God knows I've written enough about it. I guess I just feel the need to talk about the improvements in hopes that the guilt I feel over the first few months disappear.

She is really a ray of light. A happy little spirit- so calm and mellow. It's like she was switched with another baby. Every time I look at her I say the same thing: "she's so sweet, she's so cute... poor baby." And I only say "poor baby" because of what she went through and also because she spends so much time just sitting and hanging out on her own- yet, she's so incredibly happy and smiley. She's only our second child (and our last) but I can only imagine what happens to the 4th or 5th kid in those big families. Surely the last kid must feed him/herself at 6 months old. ;-)

Paisley brings us pure joy. I, guiltily, admit that I never thought it was/would have been possible. But, as I let go of the guilt, I remind myself that we never have to go back to that *place* ever again. We love her (obviously) as much as we love our sweet little baby Carys- who, in fact, very candidly lets us know that: "Carys is not a baby; Carys is a big girl". It's amazing how your heart just grows and allows you to love 2 kids. It almost seemed impossible when I was pregnant. I just couldn't wrap my head around how it could even be done. I felt guilty for what we would be doing or taking away from Carys by welcoming a new baby into our lives. Would I have to take away from Carys to give to Paisley? Nope. Somehow your love just multiplies and intensifies.

She really is our little bundle of joy.